Kansas State University
A child walking into a school for the first time or transitioning to secondary education can experience a wide range of emotions, which can be overwhelming for both them and their parents.
Jessica Lane, associate professor of counseling in Kansas State University's special education, counseling and student affairs department, says parents can start preparing now to help support their children and navigate their emotions throughout the transition.
Set your child up for success by showing excitement, familiarizing them with the situation
Lane says that parents should understand that when kids are starting kindergarten or secondary education, there will be a lot of feelings — such as excitement and nervousness — both from the parent's perspective and the child's perspective.
Kids can pick up on the feelings from the adults in their lives, so Lane advises that parents should try to make the experience as positive as possible for the child and show excitement for the new situation whenever possible. She also recommends that parents learn as much as they can about the school and help their child get familiar with it all, too.
"Parents can bring their child to the school during back-to-school nights to get them excited and having them practice walking up to the school or getting to their locker to build comfort and familiarity," Lane said. "Parents can also talk with their child about how they are going to meet new people and learn new things."
Once they begin the new school experience, Lane says children may come home and fall asleep early, perhaps even before dinnertime, because of all of the new experiences and structured time at school. While that's ok, she says getting into a routine and having a set bedtime will be helpful for children, especially as they experience those first few weeks of school.
Have open communication with the school and check in with your student
Lane encourages parents to have an open door of communication with their child's teacher and recognize that the school and the family are on the same team.
"Teachers, counselors and everyone within the school want to see your child be successful," Lane said. "If you are feeling that there are challenges, reach out early. Contact the teacher or the counselor after the first couple of weeks."
Lane suggests asking teachers and counselors questions from an objective lens, such as:
- How is my child doing academically and socially?
- How are they connecting?
- Who are they connecting with?
- Do you feel like they're able to make friendships or connections within the group?
Checking in with your child will also encourage a connection with them, Lane said, and watching for changes in behavior can help parents know if their child is struggling with starting school or with the transition to secondary education.
"At the end of the day, ask your child how their day was," Lane said. "What's something fun and exciting that they learned or felt they were able to be successful at? These are questions that you can have in your back pocket to help you get a better sense of how things are going for them."
Changes in behavior could include the child being more introverted or withdrawing more than usual. They could also be acting out or showing an unwillingness to go to school. Lane says this is when parents can plant a seed and let their child know that if something is bothering them, they can always talk to their parent, even if the conversation doesn't happen right in the moment.
"I think a student's success begins within the home, so making sure that we're providing them with as much structure and support at home so that they can be successful out in the world and in school is the ultimate goal," Lane said.