<figure>
 <img src="https://media.eaglewebservices.com/public/2020/11/1606162058430.png" alt=" Thanksgiving turkey just out of the oven. Brian Grimmett / Kansas News Service" />
 <figcaption> Thanksgiving turkey just out of the oven. Brian Grimmett / Kansas News Service</figcaption>
 </figure>By BRIAN GRIMMETT <a href="https://www.kmuw.org/post/three-kansans-share-heartbreaking-pain-lost-thanksgiving">Kansas News Service</a>WICHITA&nbsp;— Coronavirus cases are at record levels. Just in time to pretty much ruin Thanksgiving.In
 Kansas, those cases have hospitals worried about having enough space or
 staff. That’s prompted local, state and federal officials to urge 
people to just stay home.We spoke with three Kansans about their decisions to cancel trips to see family — and the loss that represents.We edited the interviews for clarity and length.<h2>Sara Simpson</h2>Sara
 Simpson is a veterinarian who lives in Basehor, Kansas. She’s 
originally from New Jersey, but has lived in Kansas since about 2013.Kansas News Service: Do you go back and see family for Thanksgiving every year?<figure>
 <img src="https://media.eaglewebservices.com/public/2020/11/1606162137722.png" alt=" Sara Simpson with her father during a holiday visit last year. Credit Sara Simpson" />
 <figcaption> Sara Simpson with her father during a holiday visit last year. Credit Sara Simpson</figcaption>
 </figure>SS: It was always like a big thing.You know, we would plan to see all of our friends and different family members.So,
 every day we were doing something family-oriented or friend-oriented. 
We would always make sure we had a date night in New York city where we 
could go have a nice dinner with friends.KNS: What does this year look like?SS: This
 year was supposed to be my family in New Jersey. And, of course, we 
were looking forward to it. But with everything that’s going on with 
COVID, we’ve been having this conversation for a couple months now, you 
know, is it safe to go, both for us and for everyone else?KNS: What were the discussions with your family like?SS: It was a lot of back and forth, both inside my head and those actual conversations.And
 there were some tears and, you know, from me and from my parents and I 
think the biggest consideration was, can we do this safely?We’re
 just not able to quarantine for two weeks before we go anywhere. And 
even if we do now, we either have to fly, so, we're going to the 
airport, coming in contact with all those people, or we would be driving
 and having to stay at a hotel and stop for gas.To me, the risk 
of, obviously, I worry about myself, but the risk of exposing my family 
and potentially, you know, you don't know how sick someone's going to 
get. So that was the biggest consideration for us was can we keep 
everybody safe and do this in a safe and responsible way?KNS: How did it make you feel to have to make this kind of sacrifice?SS:
 I’m really sad. There are intermittent tears when I start thinking 
about it. You see those cheesy Hallmark Thanksgiving movies and all that
 on TV and I have to quickly turn it off because you start thinking 
about all the things you’re going to miss, but I think it's a small 
sacrifice.My parents haven't seen my son since last Thanksgiving, other than like Skyping and things like that.So
 it's sad to think that they're missing out on this time. But I would 
rather have to miss this and make that sacrifice, that small sacrifice 
now, compared to what some other people (have) sacrificed during all of 
this, and then get to see everybody healthy and happy.KNS: Do you have any negative feelings for people who choose to go ahead with large family Thanksgiving celebrations?SS:
 It feels a little selfish. I don’t want to judge people for making the 
decisions that they make. But, unfortunately with something like COVID, 
those decisions don’t only affect them and the people they’re seeing in 
their homes.If they pick up COVID and they don’t know it and 
then they’re out and about or traveling and stopping at various places 
and what have you, it then becomes an issue for everyone they come in 
contact with.All I want to do is give my family a hug. You know,
 and we can’t do that right now. But I keep telling myself that if we 
keep doing what we’re supposed to be doing, follow public health 
guidelines, it won’t be too long before we can hug them again.<h2>Christopher Redmond</h2>Christopher “Chip” Redmond lives in St. George, Kansas.KNS: What do you typically do for Thanksgiving?Christopher Redmond: We either travel to one side of the family or the other. We are never at home, we are never in Kansas for the holidays.KNS: What’s the plan for this year?CR:
 You know, it was a difficult choice and we've been kind of going back 
and forth with it. The plan was we were going to make the 12-hour trek 
this year, but it's not worth it.Neither our families have had recent exposures or anyone's sick, which is good. And we'd like to keep it that way.KNS:
 So, what kind of deliberations went into your decision? It is tempting 
to think, well, it will only just be a few of us, it won’t be that big 
of a deal.CR: It was stressful. More than I ever thought it would be. It put a lot of weight on us.(My
 parents) were open if we wanted to come and I think that made it more 
difficult for us, because it put more weight on our shoulders to make 
that decision.But as cases have risen in the last few weeks, I 
think it’s started to become easier for everyone. It’s obvious that this
 is spinning out of control.KNS: Were there any hard feelings from your parents?CR:&nbsp;They
 are more at ease, like, OK, let's find a way to make this fun. It's 
more of, we can have a good time and we can make this not necessarily a 
new tradition, but we could find, we could still carry on a lot of the 
old traditions.KNS: Are there any positives that are coming out of this?CR:
 It’s easy to focus on negatives, but there are some big positives. 
We’re helping out the local economy. We drove away every year. Manhattan
 and the area is a college town, a military town, and so now all those 
people that would typically be leaving town are now buying stuff and 
staying in town.You also don’t have to worry about traveling for
 12 hours and all the other people on the road. And I think in the long 
run we’ll end up having better discussions with family because you’re 
not sick and tired of being with them for 24 hours, 48 hours. You get 
trapped with them.KNS: Do you have any thoughts about people who are deciding to gather anyway?CR: I understand it. We’re all human. But, for the love of Pete, just be smart about it.Maybe
 don’t go anywhere for a couple of weeks after that. Take a safety 
protocol after that and lock yourself down. If it’s really that 
important to you, then don’t do anything the next two weeks.<h2>Sarah Bunn</h2>Sarah Bunn is a Kansas transplant from northern Illinois. She’s lived in Kansas for about 11 years.Kansas News Service: So if you’re a transplant, does that mean you have family still in other states?Sarah Bunn: My entire family, basically, is in Northern Illinois and some of them are in southern Wisconsin.KNS: Are you traveling to see them this year? And how did you decide?SB:
 My mother works in health care. My aunt works in health care. There was
 just a general consensus among us that traveling is probably not the 
best idea.We’ll do something, but all physically being in the same place is just not feasible this year.KNS: How hard was it to just say, “we can’t get together this year?”<figure>
 <img src="https://media.eaglewebservices.com/public/2020/11/1606162183904.png" alt="Credit Sarah Bunn" />
 <figcaption>Credit Sarah Bunn</figcaption>
 </figure>SB: It’s heartbreaking for me. I told my husband I 
think the hardest thing about this whole period for me is that I can 
talk to my mom, and we FaceTime a lot. But if I‘m not physically in the 
same room with my mother at least like once every three months, I suffer
 for that.It’s heartbreaking, too, because I have an almost 
2-year-old, and my sister has one who just turned one and that age is so
 hard because they go so fast. So, by the time I see my niece again in 
person, or my mom sees her granddaughter again in person, it’s a 
completely different baby.KNS: Have you come up with any alternatives to gathering in person?SB: We
 talked about doing a Zoom. I think that would be fun, but we tried to 
do a Zoom happy hour in the beginning (of the pandemic) and in the end I
 think two of my cousins hung up so mad at people were talking over each
 other and my mom and my aunt in the same room joining the call from two
 different devices and it’s just like, ‘Hang up and just go walk over 
there.’KNS: How much is this impacting you and your children? Do they notice how crazy it all is?SB:&nbsp;“So,
 my 8-year-old will say, ‘When, can we go to Grandma's? When the virus 
is better, can we go to Grandma's?’ And that’s heartbreaking, you know?That's
 what I worry about the most when it comes to doing the holidays in this
 new normal is that I feel like I try to make it so much for them. And 
there's so much of the tradition that we're just not going to do this 
year because it's just not safe.My daughter is doing full remote
 school and she’s in third grade and she had to write a paper about 
traditions and she had to pick a family tradition and she was trying to 
kind of think of one. And it was like everything we came up with was 
like, ‘Oh, we're not doing that this year.’That, for me, is the 
hardest part. How do I make this special for them without what we would 
normally consider to be a tradition. I’m not sure yet how I’m going to 
do that. I haven’t really had time to sit down and plan what we’re going
 to do instead.KNS: Why do you think these sacrifices are worth it?SB: For
 me, it's just a cost-benefit analysis. As much as I would really, 
really love to see my mom. And like I said, I need to be in the same 
room with her every once in a while. My husband even said, you know, if 
you want her to come and she takes a test before and she wears all of 
this stuff and wears an N95 (mask) on the plane and all of that. But for
 me, it's just not worth the risk. Right?I just don’t feel like I
 could ever forgive myself if we were to bend the rules a little bit and
 go travel or something and something bad happened. You know, maybe 
everything would be fine, but what if it wasn’t, you know how do we live
 with that?Brian Grimmett reports on the environment, energy
 and natural resources for KMUW in Wichita and the Kansas News Service. 
You can follow him on Twitter @briangrimmett or email him at grimmett@kmuw.org.

Kansans share the 'heartbreaking' pain of a lost Thanksgiving